We tend to fear things when we do not know much about. Adoption seems to generate fear in people. When I mention how we are adopting, some people become uncomfortable. Through this blog I hope to help others understand our choice to adopt. We once were in the same boat – fearful adoption and fearful of the unknown. We wasted many months “stuck” in our fear. Fear has a way of paralyzing us, keeping us from all God has for us.
We always thought we would adopt “one day.” One day, when we had raised several kids through the teenage years or close to it. One day, when we had more money. One day, when we are wiser. And the list goes on. However, as we began to think about adding another member to this family. We felt we should research what it would look like to give a child a family who may not know one otherwise. And man, the fear and worry crept in. What were we going to have to give up? How would this process affect our marriage? How would this decision impact our current child? How would it disrupt this family of three that we cherish so much? We feared financial burden of adoption. How would we support two kids; one of which with a medical condition? We feared the unknown diagnoses of the new child. How would these unknown medical needs affect our daily schedule and monthly budget? We had fear of emotional and physiological difficulties this new child may face. We feared how this child may be bullied because of their race or medical condition.
To be honest we had some of the same fears when we made the decision to have our first child. Fear of the financial burden of a child. Fear of disrupting our family of two that we cherished so much. Fear giving up time, changing schedules and careers. If we were to give birth to a child there is also potential for a medical condition or unknown diagnosis. In fact, there still is and always will be; but typically that risk does not stop us from having children. And certainly would not stop us from loving them and taking care of them if a medical condition did arise. Yet, we do not and cannot live in that fear. If we did, we would’ve missed out on this…
As we researched and prayed about these unknowns and fears. We felt there will always be risks but we cannot let fear paralyze us anymore. We must move past this fear and stand on faith. “Once our eyes are opened, we can’t pretend that we don’t know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act.” -Proverbs 24:11-12
Courage is never to let your actions be influenced by your fears. – Arthur Koestler
We must have F.A.I.T.H. Faith that God will provide the finances. Faith in our marriage. Faith in the resilience of our child/ren. Faith that God will see us through any potential surgeries or therapies. Faith that God can heal the broken heart, physiological trauma, and emotional stresses our new little one has and will go through.
There are still times when fear begins to creep back in – different fears but fears none the less. In those moments I am reminded of the story where Jesus is walking in the water during a raging storm and calls Peter out of the boat. Jesus said, “Come.” Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” (Matt 14:29-32) I do not want to be the one with little faith. I want to be the one when Jesus says, “Come.” I go, undoubting, unwavering, trusting in the One who the wind and the waves obey. The One who controls this life through peaceful, glassy seas and through the raging wind and waves. Lord, help my doubt and unbelief.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
This is the theme song of our lives right now. I hope it encourages you as much as it encourages me!