As Will and I parent, we are fully aware of what we do not know and how much we are in need of a merciful God who has entrusted to us these precious lives to rear in His wisdom, love and grace. Here are the books we have just finished or are in the process of reading. They are adding a wealth of info and insight to our parenting and discipline already as we have so much to learn. It is only by grace that we are here.
“Parenting from the Inside Out” by Daniel Siegel
– How many parents have found themselves thinking: I can’t believe I just said to my child the very thing my parents used to say to me! Am I just destined to repeat the mistakes of my parents? In Parenting from the Inside Out, child psychiatrist Daniel Siegel, explores the extent to which our childhood experiences actually do shape the way we parent. Drawing upon stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, he explains how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories, which will help them raise compassionate and resilient children.
This book gives relatable examples of how our parents’ parenting style directly shaped the way we (as parents) interact with our children. It teaches how we can move past whatever negative experiences we’ve had in the past to gain understanding and meaningful connections with our children today.
“Give them Grace” by Elyse Fitzpatrick
– This book acknowledges that children need more than behavior modification. They need the gospel. But every parent knows that applying this concept is sometimes easier said than done. Elyse teaches how we can practically communicate the truth of God’s Word and the message of God’s grace in a way that engages the hearts, minds, and affections of the little ones we love so much.
In Give Them Grace, parents will learn how to connect the benefits of the cross – especially regeneration, adoption, and justification – to their children’s daily lives. Chapters address topics such as our inability to follow the law perfectly, God’s forgiveness and love displayed at the cross, and what true heart obedience looks like.
“The Whole-Brained Child” by Daniel Siege
l – In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling book Mindsight
, demystifies the meltdowns and aggravation, explaining the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids can seem-and feel-so out of control. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth. Raise calmer, happier children using twelve key strategies, including
- Name It to Tame It: Corral raging right-brain behavior through left-brain storytelling, appealing to the left brain’s affinity for words and reasoning to calm emotional storms and bodily tension.
- Engage, Don’t Enrage: Keep your child thinking and listening, instead of purely reacting.
- Move It or Lose It: Use physical activities to shift your child’s emotional state.
- Let the Clouds of Emotion Roll By: Guide your children when they are stuck on a negative emotion, and help them understand that feelings come and go.
- SIFT: Help children pay attention to the Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts within them so that they can make better decisions and be more flexible.
- Connect Through Conflict: Use discord to encourage empathy and greater social success.
Complete with clear explanations, age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles, and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Childshows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.
“The Connected Child” by Karen Pervis
– Learn how to build bonds of affection and trust with your adopted child, effectively deal with any learning or behavioral disorders, and discipline with love without making your child feel threatened.
This book offers a faith based approach to parenting children who have gone through some sort of trauma. Trauma does not always mean a child who comes from being relinquished or has been institutionalized. Trauma can mean a child who has lost someone close to them, a child who’s parents have been divorced, a child who’s parents have had to move from one home to another or a child from a stressful pregnancy and/or birth.
“Adopted for Life” by Russell Moore
– This book offers biblical foundations for adoption and identifies adoption as a Great Commission priority in evangelical churches. Moore talks specifically about how, as believers in Christ, our identity is found in Christ, not in some label we have created for ourselves and not as orphans any longer. He also talks about the current and historical spiritual warfare against children and what we are called to do about it. This book is laced in scripture and I consider it a “must read”.
“Anatomy of the Soul” by Curt Thompson
– Do you want to improve your relationships and experience lasting personal change? Join Curt Thompson, M.D., on an amazing journey to discover the surprising pathways for transformation hidden inside your own mind. Integrating new findings in neuroscience and attachment with Christian spirituality, Dr. Thompson reveals how it is possible to rewire your mind, altering your brain patterns and literally making you more like the person God intended you to be. Explaining discoveries about the brain in layman’s terms, he shows how you can be mentally transformed through spiritual practices, interaction with Scripture, and connections with other people. He also provides practical exercises to help you experience healing in areas where you’ve been struggling. Insightful and challenging, Anatomy of the Soul
illustrates how learning about one of God’s most miraculous creations—your brain—can enrich your life, your relationships, and your impact on the world around you.